My second floor bedroom overlooks a massive 150 year-old eucalyptus tree that almost overpowers the expanse of the Pacific and the Channel Islands. Woodpeckers, starlings, crows and doves dart among the withered arms of ancient oaks.  My window opens with a rusted hand crank and a hand-hewed teak starburst looks down from the ceiling.

This graceful house was built in 1920 from stone quarry in nearby San Ysidro Creek.  It has seen citrus growers, Wall Street investors, famous musicians, and novices preparing to enter the religious life.  It is now the main house for the Immaculate Heart Community Center for Spiritual Renewal a 27-acre retreat facility known as La Case De Marie.  It is a nourishing place of peace for people of all faiths and persuasions.

I’ve been coming here for 15 years to begin anew: to think, to write, to read, and to hike the steep trail of El Camino de Cielo that zigs and zags four miles from sea level to the top of the mountain.

For so many of us the last few years have been filled with 9/11 horrors, wars, natural disasters, job losses, bankruptcies and stalwart companies crushed by anything from years of inept leadership to downright thievery.

Many of us foolishly expected that years of bad decisions could be turned around in one year, rescued by hope and a “we can” mantra. We love the quick fix, the instant gratification and the miracle move.

It’s time for reality.  I’ve come here to learn what is in my sphere of influence.  What can I do to help myself and others move forward as a community inhabiting one tiny planet.  I refocus on what matters most for me rather than on the “most” that media thinks matters.  As a teacher and student of leadership, where does one begin to reclaim that which feels lost?

Come away.  Retreat. Really away.  Away from gadgets that call out for attention. It’s hard to be clear when surrounded by ding of IMs, the ring of cells, the buzz of meetings and the blasts of bombastic politicians and preachers.

Here is a five-step process to retreat so that you can return, ready to advance:

(1) SILENCE. No talking, no radios, Ipods or television.  How can I speak with my mind and my heart if I have no time to figure out what either is saying? The great discoveries of the ages were not done with jabbering but with gathering one’s thoughts.

(2) SOLITUDE. Don’t take your best beloved or your dear friend with you on retreat. A step into self-mastery and self-leadership is the ability to be alone but not lonely.

(3) SURRENDER. This is not a white flag that follows retreat on a battlefield.  This is the surrender of courage, the surrender that faces reality rather than exerting effort wishing life was not as it is. To surrender is actually a move in aikido in which one accepts and moves with whatever energy an opponent offers.  It is a place of strength.

(4) SERENITY. There’s a peacefulness that comes when I stop fighting against reality, when I listen and marshal my intention. It’s not an easy step and one I often fail.  Think of the Dali Lama. Despite the oppression, grave concern, and weight of his people on his shoulders, his face radiates a serenity and joy. Of course, he’s spent a lifetime cultivating it. I’m a beginner.

(5) SYNCHRONICITY. When seemingly unrelated events and/or people occur to bring about a desired result, some call it “a miracle”.  Carl Jung called it synchronicity. When I leave this place of retreat, if I have been faithful in my quiet and alone time, surrendering to what is currently in my work and life and prepared to state my intentions aloud to myself I know that all manner of unforeseen incidents and material assistance will rise.  I can advance. And so can you.

As Goethe wrote, “Whatever you do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

Eileen McDargh, McDargh Communications.  All rights reserved. You may reprint this article so long as it remains intact with the byline and if all links are made live.

Since 1980, professional speaker and Hall of Fame member Eileen McDargh has helped Fortune 100 companies as well as individuals create connections that count and conversations that matter. Her latest book is Gifts from the Mountain-Simple Truths for Life’s Complexities. Her other books include Talk Ain’t Cheap…It’s Priceless and Work for a Living and Still Be Free to Live, one of the first books to address the notion of balance and authentic work. A 59 year-old grandmother, she recently returned from climbing among the highest mountains in the world. Find out more about this compelling and effective professional speaker and join her free newsletter by visiting http://www.EileenMcDargh.com.