The Energizer

Resilient Insights for Work & Life

It’s Not What You Say

by Eileen McDargh, Chief Energy Officer - Wednesday, October 10, 2018
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Given the vitriol that has swarmed around the hearing to confirm Judge Kavanaugh, at face value, it does appear that words matter. Name calling, slurs, accusations are all examples of words that have been slung like daggers at the opposition.

But I’d like you to consider a very important point. It was HOW the words were said that created visceral emotions. Tone, intensity, breath, and volume all conspire to push words into another dimension. In fact, this is why texts and social media posts are often so misconstrued and sometimes dangerous. We get our real meanings of words from hearing them—even better if we can see the person who speaks them.

In my years as a professional speaker and an executive coach, I can attest to the fact that when someone becomes aware of what he really wants to say, how words are spoken can shift. Sometimes, we are unaware that how we said something triggered a response in the hearer that we least expected. When I was having challenges with our youngest daughter, I would say something, and she would become instantly ballistic.  My husband would say to me, “You did it again.”I had no clue what “it” was until he restated my words in the "tone” that I used.

Why People Don't Believe You

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Eileen McDargh Keynote Speaker Blog Author

About Eileen!

Since beginning her consulting and training practice in 1980, Eileen has become noted for her ability to speak the truth with clarity, wisdom, humor and compassion. Long-standing clients and repeat engagements attest to her commitment to make a difference in minds, hearts and spirits of organizations and individuals. She draws upon practical business know-how, life's experiences and years of consulting to major national and international organizations that have ranged from global pharmaceuticals to the US Armed Forces, from health care associations to religious institutions. Executive Excellence magazine selected her as one of the top 100 thought leaders in leadership and among the top ten consultant providers of leadership development.

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